Firstly, if you get depression there are triggers which make it so much worse!
Alcohol If you find it enjoyable to drink then anything that feels like stress you might want to relieve it with booze. Obviously it doesn't work but for a short period of time it feels like it does. The next day nothing has changed, except you might have a headache, depression could be worse, you have less money, your health is worse! There is no good reason to drink, if you can't stop for a month you have serious addiction issues you need help with. (I battle with this but I no longer drink to excess or get drunk...poor excuse?)
Shitty job! This can lead to so much stress, it can kill. I have been in a job which was very stressful coupled with alcohol addiction and destructive relationship. It is a testament to me being aware of what was going on in my head that led me to remove myself from everything that saved me. You do not have to stay in a crap job you hate. Be motivated to find that new role that gives you less stress. Can you live on less money if it improves your mental health? Maybe you are thinking, yes but I won't be able to have lots of holidays and enjoy my lifestyle anymore. Maybe you are on minimum wage and struggling with money and have few options. This can be really tough but there are free online courses you could do, reinvent yourself, learn a new skill, start at the bottom and work your way up....all over again. This is what I did and even though I had less money I was motivated to get to where I wanted to. It was a struggle, but mentally it was worth it.
Toxic Relationship
This might be with friends, partner or family. Being with people that bring you down is very unhealthy to your mental health. You might feel trapped, wanting to stay and work it out. This is great for a while, but wait too long and if it is not fixed it will destroy your energy. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to get help immediately from professionals.
An Ideal Scenario If you are in a great job with a supportive person and no addiction issues then you are in the perfect place to start processing what is going on in your head. Negative Thoughts Ask yourself, why am I thinking this, where does it come from? It might be something an influential person/parent told you when you was younger. Write the thought down and sit with that and trace back to where it comes from. What does it do to you, how does it make you feel, what thoughts does it conjure? I find discovering where something comes from allows me to work on it, acknowledge it, be aware when it comes up again. This is a very simple yet effective way of dealing with negative signals which can activate/worsen your state of mind. Learning how to discover and treat the sometimes negative thoughts is very powerful and very therapeutic. It does not have to be negative, it might be why you do something. For example I was told by my father to stay in a job no matter what! Stay with your partner and work things out if it goes wrong but stay together. It is better to keep a car than get another one because you don't know what might be wrong with the new one. I followed this advice for 14 years. Then one day I decided to go to university, get a degree, leave my partner who made me as miserable as hell, although it wasn't as quick and simple as you think...But I started again at 30. I became more confident of not working for dickheads and staying in relationships that made me unhappy. But....I did always try to make it work, I just didn't take forever! To be continued
Written my me a human :-)
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